Why Secure Relationships Matter:
Enhancing Mental Health Through Connection
Have you ever stopped to think how relationships affect your mental health? As we spend more and more time communicating through text and social media, it's easy to overlook how essential secure relationships are for our mental health. While we may think we can handle life’s challenges on our own, the truth is that secure relationships play a crucial role in how we cope, thrive, and maintain overall wellbeing.
The Science Behind Secure Relationships and Mental Health
Research shows that secure relationships significantly impact mental health. People with strong, stable connections tend to have lower levels of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and even longer life expectancy. This happens because secure relationships provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and help us feel understood and valued.
A key part of this is attachment theory, which explains how our early relationships with caregivers shape the way we connect with others throughout life. When we form secure attachments as children, we’re more likely to build trusting, stable relationships as adults. On the other hand, if our early experiences were inconsistent or neglectful, we may develop insecure attachment styles, making it harder to form deep connections.
Regardless of your attachment style, understanding it can help you foster more secure relationships and improve your overall mental wellbeing.
Why We Need Secure Relationships
At the heart of secure relationships is the feeling of safety and belonging. Whether it’s with friends, family, or a partner, feeling securely connected to others helps reduce loneliness—a growing issue in today’s society. Loneliness, according to studies, can increase the risk of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and even physical health problems like heart disease.
Secure relationships also offer a buffer against stress. When life gets tough, having someone to rely on can help regulate your emotions and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a supportive person helps release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of safety and comfort.
How to Build More Secure Relationships
Building and maintaining secure relationships takes time and effort, but the mental health benefits make it worth the investment. Here are some simple steps to strengthen your social wellbeing:
Be emotionally available – Security in relationships comes from being open and available for genuine connection. Make time for meaningful conversations with those who matter to you.
Practice empathy – Understanding and sharing the feelings of others builds trust. When you listen empathetically, you show that you value and understand their emotions, fostering a secure bond.
Seek new connections – Expand your network by joining clubs, community events, or taking up group hobbies. Building new secure relationships can refresh your social support system and offer new perspectives.
Strengthen existing bonds – Reconnecting with friends or family members you’ve drifted apart from can rekindle secure connections, enhancing both your mental health and theirs.
The Healing Power of Connection
In addition to everyday interactions, relationships also provide opportunities for emotional healing. According to attachment theory, forming secure connections with supportive individuals can help heal past traumas and foster a sense of emotional safety. In therapeutic settings, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), clients work on understanding their attachment styles and how they influence their relationships. This process can lead to healthier and more fulfilling connections, reducing stress and increasing resilience.
By building meaningful relationships, we create a support system that nourishes us, helping us face life’s ups and downs with greater strength and mental clarity.
Strengthen Your Secure Relationships
Before you begin strengthening your connections, it's helpful to assess whether your relationships are secure and healthy. Ask yourself: Do I feel safe, supported, and valued in my relationships? Can I share my thoughts and feelings openly without fear of criticism? Are my close connections built on trust and mutual respect? If the answer is yes, you likely have secure relationships that provide a strong foundation for your mental health. If not, it's worth exploring how you can build more secure connections or improve existing ones.
Building secure relationships takes effort, but it’s one of the best investments you can make for your mental health. Start by reaching out to someone today—whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or even someone new. Make time for a genuine conversation, listen actively, and offer support. If you’ve been meaning to reconnect with someone, send that message or make that call. By taking small steps to strengthen your secure relationships, you’ll be boosting your mental health and theirs, too.
At Five Star Wellbeing, our therapists are trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a proven approach to enhancing secure emotional bonds and building healthy relationships. Whether you’re seeking individual, couple, or family sessions, our team is here to help you foster secure, lasting connections. If you’re ready to enhance your relationships and improve your mental health, we invite you to schedule a session with us today.
Take good care,
Derrick
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Derrick McEachern is a Registered Counselling Therapist (RCT) in Nova Scotia, and a Canadian Certified Counsellor. He specializes in providing mindfulness-based and emotionally focused therapy. He offers workshops and webinars and consults with businesses on ways to improve employee wellbeing and mental health.
Derrick McEachern, M.Ed., RCT, CCC
Counselling Therapist, Owner
Five Star Wellbeing Counselling and Mental Health
tel: 902 698 1194
derrick@fivestarwellbeing.com
https://fivestarwellbeing.com
